DC woman tries to breach securitty of White House & My reaction to a widespread theory on her motives.

As I stood at work I saw a video of the car chase on one of our many televisions out of the corner of my eye and turned to get more information which is how I usually am in cases such as this one because my curiosity leads me to want to know WHY; why did this happen? why was the woman killed instead of tranquilized? why did it take so long for anyone to realize that there was an 18 month old baby in the car? and the biggest one...why did she do it? The television station (CNN) seemed to have no answers but was more than willing to fire out some random theories as to why including one that really offended me personally. In order to understand why I am offended you must understand that I suffer from Depression and Anxiety which both seemed to magically jump out of thin air and into my personality after having children. Now when I say this I am sure there will be those who will scoff or say that it is all in my head though I assure you the anxiety attacks and horribly crippling mood swings are not just "in my head" or "made up for attention". I love my family and my life and I would not change having kids for even a second, but let me tell you that dealing with all of it is time consuming and unbelievably tiring. They cannot just put you on Prozac and POOF you are better; it is a long process of trial and error and to be honest I'm not sure I would have kept trying if it weren't for my children. They do not understand that I have a disease that attacks how I think and tries to change how I act, but they support me on my bad days and are there hugging me and loving me all the time no matter how bad or great a day I am having. This is not easy for me to talk about because many of my friends do not understand this part of me and we have drifted apart because of that. So last night while I stood there and watched CNN blame this mother's irrational actions on postpartum depression and I heard the responses of news anchors and my customers alike I became deeply disturbed. I am glad that I had family there to tell me something was wrong with me because without them I am not sure I would have noticed until I was so far gone that I may have wound up like this woman. I am not sure if she was depressed, but to me that is a big difference from so psycho just trying to storm the white house because they believe the president is going to kill us all...The comments I heard included "people that depressed should be locked up and the key thrown away" or "who even let someone like that have children" which to me only further reinforces the idea that I should not come out to anyone I do not explicitly trust about my condition. It scares the crap out of me because they don't even consider that maybe this woman was a normal person whose brain just stopped working just as mine has,but unlike me maybe she did not have a caring husband who talked her down every time she freaked out, parents who helped whenever they could with anything they could, and a few loyal friends who wouldn't judge her based on something that she can't control. I understand that what she did was not right AT ALL, but can we just take a minute to acknowledge that maybe she wasn't fully in control of herself at the time and didn't have someone to talk her down off that ledge. Honestly what does it for me is when I get called crazy. It sends me into a total anger/frustration/self loathing tailspin and so my family tends to avoid that word knowing how it makes me feel and I am currently considered stable and on medication. I cannot even imagine what it must feel like when you are not being treated and have no support system to help with this. It also doesn't help that new moms are often made to feel like they have to have everything down pat from changing diapers in a car because there are no changing stations to making sure your kid doesn't projectile vomit on everyone like a scene out of Poltergeist which lets face it...it isn't gonna happen. There are days where the laundry doesn't get done and dishes are left in my sink and hell yeah, I would be embarrassed to have anyone over, but I spent the day coloring and playing dress up with my kids and when my daughter hugs and kisses me at the end of those days when I am tucking her in and tells me that it was "the best day ever" and that she loves me not to the moon and back as I tell her and her brother, but "to the sun and forth" and it reinforces my strong belief that I did the right thing in leaving that mess for later. Lets face it, parenting is exhausting and every single parent has had at least one day where at the end instead of picking up those toys or folding that laundry you crash into your bed like as if it is your life preserver. I'm sure if anyone reads this they will judge me and that is fine. I am not asking for internet acceptance as I have acceptance sitting in the next room eating cocoa puffs and feeding them to their stuffed animals in their fort we built earlier. I am a human and imperfect and all I ask is that when you see situations like this one on the news where they theorize over the mental stability of the person think about that person and how we have NO idea what their life has been like up until this point and as it is put in the bible (which I do not quote often) "let those of us who are without sin cast the first stone" because, really, not one of us is perfect and always does what is expected of them. I know I combined two rants into one here, but I just feel as though someone needs to say it...the system of helping those with mental issues is shoddy and sloppy at best and every time I see an incident in the news blamed on this I wonder where was everyone around them who would encourage them to talk to someone or see a doctor for help...

My Excuse...

What is my excuse? I normally don't care about ads like this and tend to shrug them off, but I have to say this one really bothered me. As a mother of two I gained a significant amount of weight during my pregnancy in addition to that I gained a medical condition that causes me to rapidly gain weight. I work out every few days but for me losing weight is an uphill battle. I am not an unhealthy person, my bmi is within a normal range though my weight is a little higher than I would like. I have stretch marks circling my waist and thighs, but to be honest I think that this is what makes me ME. I am not a carbon copy of a personal trainer in some magazine and I'll be damned if I am going to let some magazine tell me that how I look is me making excuses. I think that these are way more beautiful than some carbon copy made to make us all feel guilty. We all have different metabolisms and daily routines as well as health problems so In my opinion to say its an excuse when not every mother looks like that is a very smallminded and horribly mean spirited thing to do especially when most mothers are already so self conscious about the changes that our bodies go through as a NATURAL part of having children. To say that we are less or are making excuses is so highly offensive to me that every time I see that picture it makes me want to tear it up in frustration. So please remember that not all of us agree with ads that make women out to be barbies or super models because that is not a realistic view of all that we are.